Existing

**older poem… Not suicidal

I’m all mixed up

My head isn’t right

I really want to die tonight

The pills are calling

or maybe the exhaust

it’s the rope and a tree

the final feeling of falling

but those two angels are here

they bind me to Earth

validating my life

giving me worth

so I choose to cut

to release all my pain

a short-term fix

I know it seems insane

Three cuts in a row

is what takes

I’m not dying

not living

just existing another day

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